“Weren’t you using any contraceptives?” That was the question we received from some family members and friends upon their learning of our pregnancy this year. My wife Katie and I had only been married for a year, and I guess everyone expected us to wait a few more years before having children. However, for us, now was the best time for us to start our family. To answer their question, I would tell them we did not believe in using contraceptives. We saw contraceptives as a roadblock to God’s greatest gift to us. With all the other gifts and blessings that we accept so willingly from God, why should we deny His best gift of life to us? We believed in using the natural ways of achieving and avoiding pregnancy that God has blessed each of us with through Natural Family Planning (NFP).

NFP did not just come to us overnight. When we first got married, we didn’t know much about the subject. Because of our ignorance about NFP at the time, combined with our desire not to have a honeymoon baby, we decided to take birth control upon marriage. We both didn’t like the idea of contraception, but we also didn’t like the idea of having 10 children in 10 years. Therefore, we settled on the pill.

It only took a month or so before we realized the pill was not for us. Katie began having mood swings very frequently due to the chemical changes. As she got moody, I would get frustrated. Many arguments developed, and that was not a good sign considering we had just gotten married. We knew it was due to the pill, because we had never acted this way toward each other since we had met. Finally, after a couple months, we knew something had to change or our marriage would continue to suffer.

Katie did a lot of research about alternatives that we could use to replace the pill. We thought about using condoms, but after one condom, we were done with those. It felt as if something was missing during sex when we used the condom. After all, we’re married, so why should we create barriers between us? Katie did more research and discovered a book titled Taking Charge of Your Fertility: The Definitive Guide to Natural Birth Control, Pregnancy Achievement, and Reproductive Health by Toni Weschler, MPH. I remember how Katie couldn’t put this book down. She got very excited about all the information she was learning. Even though the book is mainly geared toward women, I read a little bit just to get educated as well. Katie would also discuss with me what she had learned. In all, we learned a vast amount of information regarding natural fertility.

With our new wealth of knowledge, we decided to drop the pill and try NFP. At first, I thought we would definitely have a baby 9 months to the day after dropping the pill. I thought there was still a moderate chance of pregnancy with NFP. Katie continued to tell me that the method would work. Since she had read much more than me, I trusted her and God that NFP would work for us. She started taking basal temperatures and charting, and she would share the information with me about how her body changed throughout each cycle. She would explain to me how she knew when her body was fertile and when it wasn’t. I was amazed at everything you could learn about her cycles just by monitoring a few things every day.

To my surprise, we did not get pregnant after the first month trying NFP, nor the second, nor the third…and so on. NFP was working! We didn’t have to rely on chemical methods or other forms of birth control. Our sex life and communication had improved dramatically. Most importantly, we had complete trust in God and ourselves, and we had stopped denying God’s greatest gift to us.

After ten months of NFP working 100% of the time to postpone having children, there came a time when Katie and I thought about having our first child. We knew Katie was fertile at this specific time, and we decided we were ready for our first child if God so willed one to us. Sure enough, about two weeks later, we found out we were pregnant! It was so awesome how God put us completely in control of naturally choosing our conception, and He blessed us with a new life. We are very proud about using NFP and the ability to pinpoint the exact day when God allowed us to conceive.

As most couples, we didn’t discuss our sex life with family and friends. Therefore, everyone assumed we were just like the majority of couples and using contraceptives. Everyone was surprised when we told them we were pregnant and that we had not been using contraceptives for nearly a year. In fact, my stepbrother and wife were so interested in the book Katie had read so we let them borrow it. The only difference was that they had been trying to conceive for 8 months rather than avoiding conception. They read some of the book to learn the information that we had learned about fertile and infertile periods. Within two months, they conceived a new life!

Most people uneducated about NFP would think we’re crazy for being in our early 20’s and not using contraceptives. However, after comparing our marriage and sex life now to the two months at the start of our marriage, we would have to say they are crazy for not using NFP. There are no mood swings, no contraceptive costs, and no exclusions of God’s greatest gift of life. NFP has allowed us to be more in control of our bodies, allowing for much improved communication and a better marriage. We are truly blessed to be able to use NFP successfully and have our first child expected in less than one month from now!

Justin

Due to world wide access of these sharings, last names have been omitted from our parishioner testimonies. Please do not reprint these sharings without permission. Please request permission for additional usage by contacting the Natural Family Planning Ministry Team. Thank you.