Christina and I are celebrating our sixth anniversary of using Natural Family Planning (NFP) this month. As I look back on the past six years of NFP, I reflect on the joy, excitement, deepening love, and the increased understanding of our faith that NFP has fostered. I also find myself at peace; content with and proud of the method we use to plan our family. This is a wonderful improvement to our pre-NFP days. Those were days when we weren’t proud of our method, which at the time could be summarized by two cold words: birth control.
I say “cold words” because that is the feeling I most associate with the day we realized we had to change the way we approached our relationship. Ironically, that day started out with a sense of pride and ended with gut-wrenching guilt. We were attending college then, and enjoying the freedom that comes with living 200 miles away from home. I recall two kids, acting like adults and believing they were behaving responsibly. Then one day, something prompted us to visit the university health center together for a routine OB/GYN visit and to pick up a prescription for birth control pills. Maybe I thought I was being noble by “doing my part,” or brave to dare accompany my girlfriend into the gynecologist’s office. But in retrospect, I like to think it was something else that nudged us to act like a team…perhaps the angels of our future children who wanted more for their parents.
As we sat in the doctor’s office, I used my basic knowledge of biology to mask my awkwardness. I began to ask questions about different birth control methods, particularly the pill. It was here for the first time that a doctor explained to me how the pill works. The doctor informed us that as long as the hormone dosage was correct, it was nearly impossible for Christina to get pregnant. At some point in the discussion, the doctor mentioned the slight chance that an egg might be fertilized. However, she concluded that even if this happened, the pill would virtually ensure that it could not survive.
I stopped the doctor by asking a question that made my heart sink as I began to prepare for the obvious answer. “So, even if an egg is fertilized, the pill will initiate a menstrual cycle and discard the egg, regardless of whether it was fertilized?” The affirmative response still haunts me today. The confidence in the doctor’s voice was unmistakable and her matter-of-fact tone struck me as overwhelmingly cold. I nervously asked about other forms of birth control to hide my anxiety. When I walked out of the doctor’s office, I was overwhelmed by the unspoken morality questions that flooded my mind. We never used that prescription.
Birth control continued to be an issue we struggled with until three years later when we were preparing for our wedding. That’s when we first heard about NFP and signed up for an informational workshop with a practitioner at a Catholic hospital. Once again, I found myself asking a million questions in an attempt to cover up the awkwardness I felt while discussing my private life with others. But this time, things were much different. It was a wonderful, welcomed relief!
The content of the workshop was easy to absorb and very interesting. Instead of focusing on the detriments of artificial hormones on a woman’s body, we reveled at the natural process of a woman’s normal cycle. Instead of being intimidated by artificial means, we were inspired by nature. The outward signs of fertility that a healthy female body provides absolutely amazed me. Soon my awkwardness faded into curiosity and eventually disappeared as my respect for God’s design deepened. Then came the icing on the cake: the facilitator informed us that this form of NFP was more effective than contraceptives for avoiding pregnancy. We were hooked.
During the workshop we learned that it takes three to six months to master this system and it would require dedicated teamwork to make this a success. The idea that I had an important role in this process was empowering. As advertised, we mastered NFP within a few cycles and learned a lifelong skill. For my part, I am the “charter” or recorder of the NFP data. Christina makes the daily observations and I record them on our chart…and together we determine if we’re fertile. This team effort facilitates open communication as we both work to identify times of fertility, mindful of our family goals.
Six years ago, I never could’ve imagined how NFP would shape our lives. At first, it was an exciting new direction, providing a relieving answer to newlyweds and their questions on health, morality and faith. NFP then became instrumental in the planning of our family, as we used it to time the growth of our family with other significant life events. NFP was also the source of welcomed surprises, like helping us overcome the challenges of conceiving. We now recognize NFP as a blessing: a flexible tool that has become an integral part of our life and is easily applied to all stages of our marriage as our goals cycle between avoiding and achieving pregnancy.
by Michael
**According to the Package Inserts for the Pill, the Physician’s Desk Reference for medications and testimony by pro-abortion advocates before the Supreme Court, the pill (and other hormonal contraceptives) in its tertiary function prevents implantation of a fertilized ovum (embryo).
Due to world wide access of these sharings, last names have been omitted from our parishioner testimonies. Please do not reprint these sharings without permission. Please request permission for additional usage by contacting the Natural Family Planning Ministry Team. Thank you.